Over the years…Then & Now

I recently read somewhere that years go by at snail’s pace when we are young, while it jumps and leaps across the aging years. Do you think so? In hindsight, maybe yes. I remember how the years spent studying at school and college seemed never ending, while now the years spin by.

Then & now, here are some of my changing perspectives over the years, in no particular order…

1.       Then – No calorie count. Lean and thin was the order of the day.

Now - Every morsel counts, and contributes to the ever-expanding girth.

2.       Then – All food was food, but no craving for specifics

Now – Some food is more equal than others, cravings galore

3.       Then – Uncertainty in paths to follow

Now – Seemingly some certainly in ordained path(s)…or are they fantasies of the mind?

4.       Then – Emotional highs and lows, some tsunamis

Now -  Fewer see-saws, centered peace

5.       Then – Everything matters

Now – Important things matter, rest get washed away

6.       Then – Strong likes and dislikes, nothing in between

Now – Marked likes and dislikes, rest all adjustments or kept away

7.       Then – Life defined by striking colours

Now – A palette…mellower and warmer hues blend with the bold

8.       Then – Contact numbers of ‘friends and family’ in diary

Now – Emergency numbers of doctors & hospitals all set to rival ‘friends and family’

9.       Then – Constant desire to change the self to what’s expected

Now – Change is constant, around a steadfast core center

10.   Then – Take care of self, rest take care of themselves

Now – 360 deg care…self, parents, siblings, spouse and children

Many changing perspectives while some important aspects remain constant...like hitting the snooze button and loving to snuggle under a blanket for an extra 5 minutes every morning.

The dots of the past join to make sense in the experience of the ever present now. In this moment of life, does it matter what happened this year, in the past…what resolutions I made or kept, or what achievements I had? I reach into my bucket list and find…nothing. All vanish in fantasy…ephemeral perceptions.

I now say that life, for me began at age 35…when I learnt to get in touch with the stillness within and listened to the still quiet voice inside me…when I learnt to search within for what I used to search for outside. Over a decade later, ‘Now’ I’m able to reach into myself and tune into deeper realms within…I listen to stillness, compassion, love. Though a challenge at times to be in (a work in progress, as is life), ‘Now’ is infinitely beautiful, soothing, blissful. 

I sometimes contemplate how the dots of today, weave a pattern for tomorrow. Magical spiritual designs, I’m sure. Woven by the Master Weaver. Which stage am I at, in the tapestry of life, I wonder. Does it even matter?   No, it doesn’t. Not right ‘now’. Not if I am still and allow myself to be guided by the light within. The moment a year ends and a new one begins and every other moment…comprises both…an exhale and an inhale. ‘Then’ leads me to ‘Now’. All else is fantasy.