So I've decided to turn my attention to some of my learnings at this time.
1. The ties that bind are 'Human Connections' - be they virtual or in person. Virtual human connections have uplifted my spirits these past few months. Friends - new, old and long lost, family who've reached out just to... connect. And I've experienced that it's not blood the matters, but genuine human empathy to just say "hello, I'm thinking of you", "how are you doing today" or "what can I do to help". Powerful words. Also important, words said with genuineness and with no trace of self elevation.
2. There are hidden potentials in everyone - if we only give them the chance to exhibit them and flower. Case in point - my 21 yr old offspring, who has surprisingly displayed a potential for cooking and cleaning. In my absence, of course! Which gave him the chance to exhibit them, without mother hen (yours truly) clucking around.
3. People, particularly children, rise up to do what the occasion demands of them. Caveat - If we are also willing to step back and let them, maybe with only gentle guidance, if at all required. Having a 'hands off' approach is a tough one for parents. The covid got my boy to change his bedding every 2 weeks, with no reminders from me apart from an initial answer to his question of how often it should be done. Mind you, this was task I couldn't get him to do for 21 years!
4. Most people have an inherent deep desire to be of use to another. But may not know how to. Tough to recognise this in others too. Be aware of this however - Greater may be our need to be of use than to step back and give others the opportunity to be of use.
5. Having said that, the greater challenge may lie in our hesitancy in asking for/ accepting help. At times I feel that receiving graciously is an art - inherent in some, to be worked at in others. Receiving could be of help offered or even praise given.
6. These circumstances are difficult and as far removed from the old normal for all of us. Mental health, a challenge at the best of times, is particularly more so now. Taking a moment to acknowledge this in ourselves, as well as in others is of essence. Once acknowledged, it's easier to let go/work with it.
7. Some have an inherent ability to manage stress well. Being unable to manage stress well may result in tendencies to exhibit behaviour far removed from and at the other end of our old normal patterns. Recognising this in ones own behaviour patterns first and in others next, may well form the basis of our ease of being in these times.
8. Going with the flow - easy to say, may be tougher to practice. The desire to be someplace else in an idealistic future is easy to have. Tougher may be the ability to let go of that fantasy and go in the flow of the moment. As Richard Rohr says in "Breathing under water" - the more you resist, the more it persists. A quote familiar to many of us who've done NLP, Vipasanna. I'm learning finer nuances to it at this time.
9. Be prepared for the unexpected - always. The challenge is to get comfortable with it. Old wine in new bottles. Old relationships seen in a new light, may throw up the unexpected. Every moment is new. New ways of living. And the beauty is that we only need to look deep inside ourselves to be able to thrive in the unexpected. New inherent resources to deal with the unexpected evolve if we but give space to them to emerge.
10. This too will pass. As we learn in vipassana, everything is impermanent. From one breath to the next, an inhale to an exhale.
A new normal. A new balance to find. Each moment, every moment. May each of us find our new balance, moment to moment.
