Who am I?

A recent conversation brought this question to mind – Who am I? While this question may have been directed ‘at’ you many a time, I am curious to know how many of us ask this question 'of' ourselves.

Each of us would have our own unique ways of explaining who we are… A wife, husband, brother, sister, daughter, son, father, mother, a name that we are known by, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, a profession that we relate to…the list is endless. We often define ourselves by the relationships we have with others. In this highly competitive world, we quite often also define ourselves by our chosen career, our profession.

Many of us, including myself, often fail to realise that these are all labels that we give ourselves.  And these labels sometimes become so much an integral part of us that they tend to encompass and take over our very being. We get so steeped within the framework of the label that it begins to define us - who we are, what we do and often becomes the sole reason for our very existence. The labels we give ourselves become us – our identity. We limit ourselves to the labels we assign ourselves. The very fact that we could be something more than the parameters that we set for ourselves through these very labels, seems anathema to us.

Often this identification of self with something/ someone/a relationship tends to throw up disquiet. We tend to see-saw between two apparently opposing ends of a spectrum – two polarities. This throws up such confusion that when we are at one end of the continuum, we feel disquietude and wish to move to the opposite end, neither quite offering the solace the self needs.    

The loss or even the threat of loss of the label attached to our ‘identity’ oftentimes tends to throw us into total incomprehension and chaos. If a label is taken away, we very often wouldn't know what to do. Take a moment to introspect – if you identify yourself with your profession/ job/ designation and that were taken away, how would you feel (keeping financial implications aside)? If you identify yourself with your role as a parent, sibling, child and that were taken away, what would it do to you? Phew, are we venturing into uncharted waters now? Scary isn't it?   

Now take a deep breath, a moment to pause… and ask this question: ‘When I define myself the way I currently define myself, what part of me does that definition leave out?” Can it be that in attaching my identity to a particular label(s) there are parts of me that are glossed over? Keep doing this, going deeper and deeper each time, till you get a sense of how much of you is glossed over by the label(s) you assign to your identity. Now the crux: Ask yourself “what would happen if I did not attach my identity to those labels?” You’d be surprised at the answer your unconscious throws up. A greater awareness of the labels we take on as our identity, is a good place to begin.

Who am I? What if I am just a being, having the myriad ‘labels’ that I profess to love so much simply floating around me, as if in a formless space. Then I could pick up and put on any of them at will, for a time and particular season. What if I identify myself with none of the labels – free to take on different avatars at different times? What if in doing so I could just be myself? And in just being myself, opposing labels of a continuum could be in equanimity? Do I have to attach myself to a label? Who am I? Nothing…