In communion with my Mother

A journey of four years since penning the Ode

How did it pass, I know not now

Seemed difficult and tears gushed at first

A yawning chasm, seemed full of dust.

As dust to dust, yet at times you felt

Like moonbeams that flit with reality

A word, a thought, a tinkling laugh

All enough to trigger a memory.

Time stands not still, the humdrum life goes on

Taking in its flow, your memories

Till points were reached, where I took a pause

And wondered what your advice to me would be.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, so they say

In hindsight, I now delight in the wisdom you shared

I know you listen, as I speak in my heart

Things that I still share with you on many a day.

No words needed – a thought, a delight, a question answered

All done - deep within the recesses of my heart

Through cakes that bake, and cleanliness drives

I know your spirit lives on in me.

Times stands not still, with the unseen hand

I’m glad I went through the angst of grief

‘Tis moulded me as nothing else would

Tears cloud my eyes – now in love, not grief.

As I see Dad, living the best he can

Half of a whole, yet whole within.

Your passion & strength, his compassion & love

Ideals to live up to, in this life I live.    

The grief is done, I knew not when

Peace within, I know not how.

'Tis now I feel the meaning of what I wrote then

‘She lives in my life; I’ll hear her in my heart’.

              -Ann Joseph

An Ode to my Mother

In this twilight time as I gaze at death’s door

Trying to snatch time with Mum against all hope

Remembering years gone by, time that has flown

Over 41 years of being moored at her shore.

As I look back through childhood, teenage and adulthood years

Through times of innocence, joy, despair, sickness and health

Despite roller coaster rides of love, anger and heart-burn

She remains the port of call during every storm.

Now when frail weak hands clasp mine for support

I remember that these hands once helped me walk.

When I soothe brows bowed in pain and grief

I remember with tears, times when she did the same.

Through knitted sweaters, embroidered linen & clothes stitched

A love for baking and a spotless house bereft of disorder

She never allowed her ‘ill-health’ to become a crutch

Rather, working doubly hard to ensure normal order.

Through all my teenage years

And through times I’ve got unwanted advice

I never would’ve imagined a time would come

When I would grieve so, and long for her advice.

Now as I reflect on her life & ponder what impacts me most:

A capacity to tap on hidden strengths from deep within

Turning ‘weakness’ into strength, bounce back from every post

A deep abiding love for all and faith in God.

When I see frail hands of my parents entwined

Holding in the present, a deep connection of nearly 50 years

I realise what a privilege I’ve been given

To be born to parents such as mine.

I take a snapshot of memories of my growing up years

And realise that in all of them she remains in pain

It grieves me so but I hope and pray

That she soon finds peace and rest for her weary soul.

As tears cloud my eyes and I can scarce write

I know I will grieve for times gone by

Only to realise that she lives in my life

And when I am quiet, I’ll hear her in my heart.
   - Ann Joseph

List of poems penned:
Blessed are thy ways oh Lord http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2012/11/blessed-are-thy-ways-o-lord.html
Life - an Illusion http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2012/12/life-illusion.html
An Ode to my mother - http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2012/11/an-ode-to-my-mother.html
Remembrances http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2012/12/remembrances.html
Aloneness http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2013/10/aloneness.html

http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2014/11/moments.html

http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2014/11/when-love-finds-self.html
http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2014/12/what-is-love.html
http://rapportinrelationships.blogspot.in/2014/11/the-dance-of-truth.html