Vulnerability equates courage? For many this is very
difficult to comprehend. How can putting myself out there in the open - susceptible to emotional hurt - be a moment of courage for me? My thoughts, words
and actions all naturally work towards ensuring that my vulnerabilities are
least exposed. So I posture such that I am perceived to be someone with no
chinks in my emotional set-up. It’s a defence mechanism which for many, come as
natural as breathing.
In fact, many of us would equate emotional vulnerability
with weakness. I would not like to put myself open to ridicule, pain and hurt. When
I expose my vulnerability, what would others think of me? I would rather go
without than open myself to scrutiny. Little do I realise however, that
covering up or posturing, just feeds the feeling of vulnerability. And then the next time
I feel vulnerable, it manifests itself even more within me. And so begins the
vicious cycle, with little room for escape.
Yet there is hope for escape - By opening up and acknowledging
my vulnerability. When I allow myself to reach out and confess, first of all to
myself, that I am only human. When I decide to take that first baby step and
test the ground, not knowing if my legs will support me or not; when I decide
to take a chance & open out the window of my emotional framework to others-
even if it is just a crack; that is when I take a chance on leaving myself open
and vulnerable. This is an act of the greatest courage. Often what we perceive
as a weakness, is truly courage and strength of the highest order. Just as a bean
bag is often perceived to lack strength – it however provides an inner support in
any which way.
It takes great courage to lay ones heart on the line in a
relationship; it takes immense guts for a leader to admit that he/she too could
make mistakes; it takes immense strength for a parent to be able to admit to a
child that he/she may not be perfect and know everything. All it requires is a
willingness to let go – to let go of self and allow myself to become vulnerable. In
letting go, I realise that I drift into nothingness. And in that
nothingness, lie my greatest strengths – for there is nothing to prove, nothing
to protect myself from.
Does this willingness to be vulnerable come naturally? Not
to me and to a million others like me. It's a decision we take day after day after day. And with each iteration, it becomes just
that little bit easier to open that window a wee bit more...to experience that strength, power and courage that comes with vulnerability.
