Communication Patterns

At some point of time or other, haven’t we all experienced a sense of frustration when all that we say or do holds absolutely no sway or influence over another? 

Forms the pattern of our lives, some may say. That is so very true. We get so entrenched and comfortable in our own patterns of thinking and communicating that we begin to expect others to fall in line with our specific patterns of thoughts and communication.  When we have this expectation of others, we certainly set ourselves up for uncertainty in wielding influence over those we wish to influence. What may be done to ensure that what others perceive is precisely what we intended to communicate, so as to ensure greater circles of influence? Well, first of all, we can hone awareness of our own patterns of communication.

Consider how we perceive our surroundings. 

Let’s for a moment, imagine taking a walk in a beautiful butterfly garden... Imagine the multitude of vibrant, colourful butterflies flitting around from flower to flower. Sun-kissed flowers in every colour imaginable set against the brilliant green foliage.  Butterflies of varying sizes, shapes and species. Listen to the sound of the wind gently blowing and the rustling of the leaves and flowers as they sway from side to side. Pay attention to the sounds of the bumble bees and the butterflies as they communicate with each other, each in their special coded language. Feel the weight of the butterfly as it lands on a delicate flower, and sucks the ambrosia of the flower. It’s lightness as it appears to float away on the gentle breeze carrying with it the dusting of pollen on its body.

What draws you into and enthralls you in this gentle wonderland as you take this walk? Is it the beauty that beholds the eye, the sweet whispers of sounds, or even the all-pervasive feeling of beauty, gentleness and lightness of movement?  In other words, is it the sights, the sounds or the feelings that make your experience all the more fulfilling for it?

Take a moment to reflect and ponder its significance. For in that reflection lies the understanding of your predominant and preferred pattern of communication.  A pattern of communication, which may find varying degrees of reflection and sameness in the patterns exhibited by others. Our ability to influence through communication depends on the degree of sameness in preferred patterns of communication between us and those whom we seek to influence.

The answer to ensuring greater influence in communication, my friend, lies in the degree of flexibility we exhibit in our own communication patterns in order to attain a greater degree of sameness with the patterns preferred by others. 

Greater flexibility to adapt to different patterns of communication enables greater overlapping and confluence, which in turn leads to wider circles of influence.  

For further readings on communication, read my next blog Take charge of your communication.