Awareness in Rapport

What does it mean to ‘be’ with someone? For some it may mean spending time together, to others - doing things together, spending quality time together, listening to the other…the list is endless. Take a moment to ponder… “When I last spent time with someone, did I come away all the more richer for having kept self aside and soaked in all the nuances that were said or left unsaid?”

In this world of fast moving vehicles, products which reach their shelf life even before they are launched, information that can be accessed at speeds that appear to move faster than light, it is but quite natural to want to be quick. There is no time to waste. So we meet people, talk to them, feel for them, even listen – all the while cruising along life’s freeway. And we deem our relationships to be successful. Maybe, just maybe they are. Are they however, just touching the tip of the iceberg of what a wholesome, meaningful relationship could potentially be? Just like the iceberg, are we giving credence to what skims the surface and build our relationships on what could, at best be a tenuous bridge of togetherness? Is it possible go below that tenuous bridge built at the top of the iceberg and base the foundation of a relationship on the more solid, chunky base that is lurking below what is visible? Awareness brings in that possibility.

What does awareness mean? Does it even have to mean anything? The cognitive mind rests easy when it puts a meaning to the word. Wikipedia defines awareness as "the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns."   

When a person is able to experience the presence of another being, without giving a label to the feelings and thoughts that come to mind…When a person listens to the other without giving importance to the multitude of thoughts that race through the mind at a billion knots per second… When a person sees the plethora of expressions that flit across the other’s face without giving in to the urge to give meaning to it… That’s when awareness steps in. And when awareness steps in, there is a suspension of judgement. When judgement is suspended, communication is open. When communication is open, there is an inexplicable sense of connectedness.

A sense of rapport that has its basis on simple awareness goes a long way to establish a feeling of trust. If we let awareness slip through our fingers, that sense of trust will shatter like a million glass pieces.

What would rapport be like if it is based only on awareness of the other person? I would reckon it to be like the branches of two weeping willows that strain to touch, blowing gently with the wind, connecting at periodic intervals.

Rapport is more firmly established when there is awareness, first of self and then of others. Becoming aware of the thoughts, pictures, voices, desires and feelings that course though our minds and bodies, leads us to a state of just ‘being in the moment’, which in turn enables a greater sense of awareness of others.

This true awareness is what gently leads to a sense of magic, a state of being where there is symphony even in silence.

For further readings on awareness, read my blog Mind with Awareness.