Take charge of your communication

In the world of quick fixes and quick solutions the emphasis is on ‘Quick’. Quick service restaurants, quick pizzas, quick burgers, quick shopping, quick banking, quick marriages and even quicker divorces…you name it, we have it. It’s a case of the survival of the ‘quickest’. To keep pace with this quickness in everything around us, communication has also become quicker - snail mail to email, encyclopaedia to Wikipedia.

In our quest for quicker communication we are often faced with a gap between the intention of our communication and its actual impact. I call it the ‘Intent - Impact Gap’. When this gap is large, we take immediate cognizance of it. When this gap is relatively small, it tends to get overlooked. Its worthwhile taking cognizance of the fact that repeated such iterations of the 'gap' leave us susceptible to the common maladies of ‘excusitis’ and ‘blame-itis’. How many times have we made excuses or passed on blame to others when someone did not listen to us, or did not do what we asked them to do, or was not influenced by our viewpoint? I guess there are too many to count. 

In this age of quick communications, It becomes all the more imperative that communication be successful. When would it be considered successful? Is it when there is no intent-impact gap? I would say yes. Is it possible? It is, when we take charge of our own communication and become aware that the actual meaning of our communication lies in the result we get from that communication. And that these results are obtained through what we say, do or even leave unsaid.

Which brings us to the next question - how do I take charge of my communication?

Very simple, if we become aware of and understand the FIVE PRINCIPLES for every successful communication:

1. Know what you want to achieve through your communication. Be very clear of the outcome. Know in your mind what you will see, what you will hear or what you will feel when you achieve that outcome.

2. Develop the sensory sharpness to know when you have achieved your outcome. Not all communications are straight and bold. Very often in subtle interactions, we fail to understand whether we have achieved our communication outcome or not. Pay heed to the subtle nuances of physiology, voice tonality and words in interactions. These serve as guideposts for communication.

3. Believe that you will achieve the outcome. The person jumping across a ravine believes in and has confidence in himself. Similarly, in all communications we must operate from a position of confidence in our own excellence.

4. Take action.  Do whatever is required to bring that outcome to fruition. Nothing is gained by vacillation.

5. Be flexible enough to change your own behaviour in order to get the outcome you want. Loop through the 'double C' formula of ‘Change behaviour - Check outcome'  iteratively till the desired outcome is achieved.’ Let it become your mantra in life. 

Remember: 

The person with the most flexibility in behaviour is the one in charge of the communication. 

The more flexibility we show in our communication, the greater is the control we wield over the interaction. Which leads to greater reduction of 'intent - impact' gaps.  Which in turn leads to greater   achievements of communication outcomes.    

For further readings on communication, read my blog Communication Patterns.

Note - Much of this blog is based on the NLP model of communication.

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