Harnessing the power within

A portion of a movie I watched this evening struck a chord in me. The movie ‘Wimbledon’ has this scene where the protagonist ‘Colt’ is at championship point and he did something which I guess successful athletes across the world have made a habit of – he went into himself and became aware of himself in the ‘Now’ and needless to say, clawed back from defeat to victory.   Now, you might just be wondering what this means and why it’s worth a mention in my blog. Well, in common terminology, it is nothing but mind power.

Let me take a typical scenario of what happens within us when we face any situation, especially an important one. At such times, we are programmed to ‘do’ something, it can be anything, but something has to be done. If nothing physical is possible, then the mind races forward into all kinds of possible scenarios for the foreseeable future. The mind needs to be engaged in what is going on around us. What then happens inside us? Hyper activity of the mind - done with the intention of harnessing the energy that is around us.  

Well, what would happen if we were to change our focus from concentrating our efforts on harnessing the energy around us to harnessing the energy that is already within us? Have you ever thought about that? For those of you who have – I’m sure you have discovered something profound for yourself. For those of you who haven’t, you might now have this thought – what do I have to do to harness the energy within me?   The answer is simple – nothing. Mind boggling, isn’t it?

So what is this ‘nothingness’ state of the mind? It took me a while to appreciate this, and what I grasped is this. 

It’s taking a moment to pause and look inside myself. It’s about hushing the umpteen voices that I hear inside my head even when the world is silent around me. It’s about feeling the warmth, the cold, the twitches and itches, the beating of the heart and the flow of life giving blood through the veins. 

And in this state of acknowledgement of my being, I get a heightened awareness of that which is around me. Everything around me gets manifest in slow motion and exaggeration. And I sense with awe, a feeling of oneness of the energy which is inside and the energy outside. 

For in acknowledging that which is within me, I acknowledge all that is around me. And then I realise that all I need is already within me. It dawns on me that what is within me is more energetic than that what is without. And in this state of ‘nothingness’ of my mind, I am in the present and at my most powerful. Because the world around then ceases to have its hold over me.

This is the magic potion that top players and achievers around that world have used to their advantage. The gift that is available for all, but sensed in totality by a few.  Take a moment, go within yourself and sense this power within you.

Other similar readings Mind with awareness  and Awareness in rapport

Service in ‘Customer Focus’ while Selling

‘Customer focus’ is a term that is bandied about by all and sundry in every industry, be they be dealing with a product or service. In this drive towards customer focus, organisations specialise in providing choice to customers. Reams of paper and tape reels are available on research done on the effect of choice on customer behaviour. In a world of choices, sellers the world over specialise in reeling in customers by sheer depth of range of products available. 

When faced by this vast sea of choice, what happens to the customer?  Is he happy?  I’m sure he is. But is the customer’s job of choosing the right product easier? Consider this: which is easier – choosing between two varieties of product or between twenty?

Whatever the product or service may be – an industrial product, a retail product like a watch, coffee, garments, or even insurance, in sales the differentiating factor whittles down to relationships with customers. And who is the point of contact in this relationship? The salesperson.  Never has the salesperson’s role been as important as now. Unfortunately, in this era of churning jobs and instant gratification, never has the salesperson been so callous or insensitive of the relationship as now, the sole focus being of bagging the sale. There are however, some wonderful exceptions to the above. I consider them enlightened salespersons whose customers have made purchases with happy and contended feelings.

Consider what this enlightened salesperson does that proves to be the tipping point that sets him apart from the mediocre:

1. He realises that the customer has choice wherever he goes. So it’s not just the range of options that can make or break the sale. It’s the ability to connect with the customer - A connection that enables him to influence the customer’s choice in a way that makes it easier for the customer to make a decision. It’s about influencing choice through trust. A trust that is established only if there is an attitude of genuine customer service, which in turn leads to customer engagement brought about by rapport in conversations.
2. He understands that it is not about pushing a customer to make a particular choice – but about engaging in conversation with the customer in order to better understand his needs and presenting the service or product in a way that enables the customer deal with the mind-boggling array of choices. It’s about guiding and enabling the customer deal with the uncertainties of purchase by identifying and presenting the best options to the customer’s requirement. It’s about assisting a customer move from a position of confusion to a position of clarity. 
3. He goes beyond ‘customer focus’ for the sake of a sale. Through his words and behaviour, he brings an act of service into the customer focus. That which enables a customer experience for himself that the salesperson is genuinely interested in serving him - that he is not merely a figure in the monthly sales target.

For further readings on selling, read my posts on:

Five secrets to confident communication in sales

Saying No to the customer

Selling with a difference

Rapport in selling

Mind with Awareness

If all the books written on the power of the mind be kept in one place, I’m sure there wouldn’t be space enough for them even in a gargantuan library dedicated to the subject. Mind power, battlefield of the mind, mind over body – these are just few of the mind-boggling array of topics debated and dissected by self-help gurus – and eagerly lapped up by all and sundry, including yours truly.

A conversation I had with a friend recently was truly thought provoking. On the subject of experiencing disappointment on account of having unfulfilled expectations of others, I was told that it is not humanly possible not to have expectations. That while in theory it sounds nice that the mind has control and can avoid having expectations, in reality it doesn't happen. Is that the same thought flitting across your mind too? So where is the supremacy of the mind here? Is it a fallacy?

This set me reflecting...consider for example the case of unfulfilled expectations. These can cause disappointment and sometimes, if we are honest enough to admit, a feeling of vulnerability.  And while for many of us, living a life without any expectations whatsoever (stated or otherwise) may sound good when coming from the mouth of the gurus, it may be a little bit (and the ‘little’ is relative here) of a herculean task to embody in real life.

But what if the mind ponders upon that feeling of disappointment and vulnerability and links it back to the unstated expectations (reasonable or not) we have had? That’s when a state of awareness comes in.

It’s an acknowledgement of feelings and expectations in the 'now', without any judgement.  An awareness of what goes on in the mind in the present. And in that awareness lie hidden treasures of great strength. Because when I become aware of and acknowledge my vulnerability, it ceases of have its hold over me.

The 'being' of the mind may be likened to a vast sheet of still and calm waters into which the awareness of thoughts and feelings fall like a drop of water and ripple across the mind in clarity. The drop, after its moment of impact, spread outwards in ripples of lessening intensity leaving, behind still waters in its wake. Awareness of thoughts and feelings similarly may cause its momentary impact in the mind and then cease to hold dominion. 

So the power of the mind, to me, is not about having the ability to eschew certain so called ‘negative thoughts and desires’. Because that in itself would only serve to focus on and fuel it further. Rather, the mind becomes powerful when its grinding wheels of never ending thoughts stop churning for some time to just ‘be’ in the moment.


In that act of ‘being’, it becomes aware of and acknowledges deep seated thoughts, feelings and emotions without putting labels to it. And then moves on, because thoughts & feelings once acknowledged, cease to hold sway over the mind.  

And that’s when we have a ‘Mind with Awareness’, a powerful state of mindfulness to be in.

For further readings on awareness, go to my blog Awareness in Rapport.

Take charge of your communication

In the world of quick fixes and quick solutions the emphasis is on ‘Quick’. Quick service restaurants, quick pizzas, quick burgers, quick shopping, quick banking, quick marriages and even quicker divorces…you name it, we have it. It’s a case of the survival of the ‘quickest’. To keep pace with this quickness in everything around us, communication has also become quicker - snail mail to email, encyclopaedia to Wikipedia.

In our quest for quicker communication we are often faced with a gap between the intention of our communication and its actual impact. I call it the ‘Intent - Impact Gap’. When this gap is large, we take immediate cognizance of it. When this gap is relatively small, it tends to get overlooked. Its worthwhile taking cognizance of the fact that repeated such iterations of the 'gap' leave us susceptible to the common maladies of ‘excusitis’ and ‘blame-itis’. How many times have we made excuses or passed on blame to others when someone did not listen to us, or did not do what we asked them to do, or was not influenced by our viewpoint? I guess there are too many to count. 

In this age of quick communications, It becomes all the more imperative that communication be successful. When would it be considered successful? Is it when there is no intent-impact gap? I would say yes. Is it possible? It is, when we take charge of our own communication and become aware that the actual meaning of our communication lies in the result we get from that communication. And that these results are obtained through what we say, do or even leave unsaid.

Which brings us to the next question - how do I take charge of my communication?

Very simple, if we become aware of and understand the FIVE PRINCIPLES for every successful communication:

1. Know what you want to achieve through your communication. Be very clear of the outcome. Know in your mind what you will see, what you will hear or what you will feel when you achieve that outcome.

2. Develop the sensory sharpness to know when you have achieved your outcome. Not all communications are straight and bold. Very often in subtle interactions, we fail to understand whether we have achieved our communication outcome or not. Pay heed to the subtle nuances of physiology, voice tonality and words in interactions. These serve as guideposts for communication.

3. Believe that you will achieve the outcome. The person jumping across a ravine believes in and has confidence in himself. Similarly, in all communications we must operate from a position of confidence in our own excellence.

4. Take action.  Do whatever is required to bring that outcome to fruition. Nothing is gained by vacillation.

5. Be flexible enough to change your own behaviour in order to get the outcome you want. Loop through the 'double C' formula of ‘Change behaviour - Check outcome'  iteratively till the desired outcome is achieved.’ Let it become your mantra in life. 

Remember: 

The person with the most flexibility in behaviour is the one in charge of the communication. 

The more flexibility we show in our communication, the greater is the control we wield over the interaction. Which leads to greater reduction of 'intent - impact' gaps.  Which in turn leads to greater   achievements of communication outcomes.    

For further readings on communication, read my blog Communication Patterns.

Note - Much of this blog is based on the NLP model of communication.

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Selling with a Difference

Think back to the last purchase you made. Whatever it may be – major, minor or any of the other chords in-between. Recollect your experience – the sights, the sounds, the feelings... 

Now, if you were to answer a poll on "When you buy a product/service, does the seller largely sell it to you in the manner that you want to be sold to," then the odds are that your answer would fall in the greater percentile of respondents that said ‘No’. (You may also answer the poll given alongside)

Anything new in that? Absolutely nothing. Have you ever paused to consider the reasons why this happens? And let’s move deeper from the general, universally accepted conjecture that we are all different from each other. Consider your past buying experiences...

Have you ever felt like buzzing the salesperson whose sole focus was on showing you the beautiful brochures, catalogues, cuts, colours, patterns, graphs, charts, giving you test rides, making you feel the product…when all you wanted was for him to talk and explain to you about the product/service? Does that sound familiar to you?

Or have you ever felt like running from the scene when cornered by the talkative salesman…when all you wanted was simply to experience the product/service, maybe try it? Does that feel familiar to you?? 

Have you ever seen yourself pulled and coerced into trying the product/service or listening to endless spiels on the benefits…when all you wanted was to see the choices, the colours, the styles, the looks, the catalogue? Does that look a lot familiar to you???

These are just but examples of the nuances involved when buying and selling. Nuances based on patterns of our choices. Which aspect of the product/service appeals to me predominantly – the look of it, the sound of it or the feel of it?

When the salesperson first strives to understand and become aware of the predominant buying patterns of the buyer, then sells the product/service in that very same pattern, that's when selling happens with a difference. 

The difference being the unconscious rapport that is generated, paving the way for long term relationships. 

For further readings on selling, go to my posts:

Five secrets to confident communication in sales

Saying No to the customer

Service in 'Customer Focus' while selling

Rapport in selling 

Communication Patterns

At some point of time or other, haven’t we all experienced a sense of frustration when all that we say or do holds absolutely no sway or influence over another? 

Forms the pattern of our lives, some may say. That is so very true. We get so entrenched and comfortable in our own patterns of thinking and communicating that we begin to expect others to fall in line with our specific patterns of thoughts and communication.  When we have this expectation of others, we certainly set ourselves up for uncertainty in wielding influence over those we wish to influence. What may be done to ensure that what others perceive is precisely what we intended to communicate, so as to ensure greater circles of influence? Well, first of all, we can hone awareness of our own patterns of communication.

Consider how we perceive our surroundings. 

Let’s for a moment, imagine taking a walk in a beautiful butterfly garden... Imagine the multitude of vibrant, colourful butterflies flitting around from flower to flower. Sun-kissed flowers in every colour imaginable set against the brilliant green foliage.  Butterflies of varying sizes, shapes and species. Listen to the sound of the wind gently blowing and the rustling of the leaves and flowers as they sway from side to side. Pay attention to the sounds of the bumble bees and the butterflies as they communicate with each other, each in their special coded language. Feel the weight of the butterfly as it lands on a delicate flower, and sucks the ambrosia of the flower. It’s lightness as it appears to float away on the gentle breeze carrying with it the dusting of pollen on its body.

What draws you into and enthralls you in this gentle wonderland as you take this walk? Is it the beauty that beholds the eye, the sweet whispers of sounds, or even the all-pervasive feeling of beauty, gentleness and lightness of movement?  In other words, is it the sights, the sounds or the feelings that make your experience all the more fulfilling for it?

Take a moment to reflect and ponder its significance. For in that reflection lies the understanding of your predominant and preferred pattern of communication.  A pattern of communication, which may find varying degrees of reflection and sameness in the patterns exhibited by others. Our ability to influence through communication depends on the degree of sameness in preferred patterns of communication between us and those whom we seek to influence.

The answer to ensuring greater influence in communication, my friend, lies in the degree of flexibility we exhibit in our own communication patterns in order to attain a greater degree of sameness with the patterns preferred by others. 

Greater flexibility to adapt to different patterns of communication enables greater overlapping and confluence, which in turn leads to wider circles of influence.  

For further readings on communication, read my next blog Take charge of your communication.

Rapport in Selling

What keeps the so called ‘super’ salesperson apart from the others? Many factors.  Primary among them would be the uncanny ability to establish a sense of connectedness with the customer. For many a ‘super’ salesperson, the ability to establish this sense of connection appears, at first glance, to be almost inborn. Maybe it is. Or maybe it is a behaviour modelled from others, or even a skill that has been honed in by years of practice and perfection that it now appears almost ethereal.

This sense of connection with customers goes beyond the superficial, to a depth of understanding that defies all logic at times. For the customer and salesperson could be poles apart in personality, likes and lifestyle. Gone are the days when one could walk into a client’s room, comment on the knickknacks and décor of the room, and hope to establish a connection with him. In this age of super computers and smart phones, can customers be lagging behind? We nowadays have ‘super’ customers and ‘smart’ customers, who have been programmed to sniff out the artificial bonhomie and become vary of ‘salespersons’ as a tribe. 

So is this almost magical connection that ‘super’ salespersons appear to have with customers, a gift for the chosen few? If this magic is understood and given sufficient practice, can it be imbibed as a behaviour pattern by all? Most fervently, the latter.

The magic lies in the ability to become aware. Become aware of patterns. Life is a dynamic pattern of intricate designs. Think about it. There is a pattern in everything we do. The way we sleep, talk, dress, relate to people, make decisions and even buy things. This pattern gives beauty, meaning and a sense of purpose to our lives. We oftentimes get the feeling of being lost and adrift on an island, if we lose the thread of this beautiful pattern. These patterns very often define our sense of being. And the beauty is that each of us has our very own unique structure of patterns. These appear so simple to us that they have become an integral way of our lives. While to those who observe us, it might seem to be a complex maze which apparently leads nowhere. But even a maze has a way out. Provided we pay attention and become aware of the patterns in it.

Consider this. What would it mean if a salesperson sensed to some degree, the customer’s unique pattern of thought, behaviour and choices? And what would he get if he had that? A map to understand the customer’s pattern of being, living, decision making and buying.  With the added benefit of having the almost magical skill to relate with the customer in the pattern that he is comfortable with, and the mystical, yet simplistic ability to sell to him in the pattern that he buys. Is it possible? A resounding yes. What does it call for? 
A greater sense of awareness of patterns, within ourselves and others, which in turn leads to greater rapport in selling.

For further readings on selling, go to my posts on:

Five secrets to confident communication in sales
Saying No to the customer
Service in 'Customer Focus' while selling
Selling with a difference